Polling Hangover? Ford Reaches Into the Cooler For Gimmick Policy

Saturday, May 26, 2018

TORONTO—Under daily fire from new revelations of his ethical misconduct and increased scrutiny for having no platform, Doug Ford sprinted to the bar fridge for a policy distraction.
Borrowing a failed promise from Tim Hudak to help deflect from his very own mid-campaign meltdown, Ford’s Conservative team is promising cheap beer instead of explaining his expensive promises. At this rate, he’ll show up for Sunday’s leaders’ debate with a carton of smokes and a round of shooters for voters.
Or perhaps Doug will borrow more failed policies from other Conservative campaigns including funding for private religious schools, talking about foreign workers, chain gangs, firing 100,000 workers and / or barbaric cultural practices snitch lines.

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